Just as soon as I announced my pregnancy, it was time to announce my miscarriage. Unfortunately, our baby didn’t make it. At 8 weeks pregnant, I woke up in lots of pain and knew exactly what was happening.
My second miscarriage was different than my first in so many ways.
With my first miscarriage I went in to a deep depression and felt the need to rush my next pregnancy to fill that void, which then led to 9 months of fear and worry. On top of that, I ended up with postpartum depression once my son was born.
This time around, I went in to this pregnancy knowing that a miscarriage was a possibility. So when it happened, I was prepared- it was almost like I was expecting it. You can look at this two ways- good and bad. It was good for me this time because I was able to better handle the miscarriage when it happened. However, it was bad during my las pregnancy because I never felt attached to the pregnancy since I was always so worried.
But this time, since everyone knew I was pregnant, I was able to find someone to watch my son so I could go to the ER at 1AM. Once I was there, I already knew what to expect and didn’t get my hopes up. As the news came, I was prepared. I knew exactly what decisions to make because I had already been through this.
I knew I wanted to miscarry naturally because the recovery is much faster than a D&C. I was also able to go back to work the next day since I didn’t have a D&C this time around (I have no vacation time to use or I would have taken a few days off).
Although another miscarriage was not a part of my plans and is truly saddening, it definitely was “easier” the second time. This time I understood that everything happens for a reason and that it just wasn’t our time. After my first miscarriage, I was blessed with the most beautiful boy I have ever seen- and every moment I spend with him lets me know that the pregnancy before that just wasn’t meant to be.
I have no doubt that we will be blessed with another baby soon, but I will not rush it- I will just let nature take it’s course.
I did ask my doctor if I should be getting checked for any issues since this is my second miscarriage, but he said that since I had a healthy pregnancy in between the two miscarriages I probably just got unlucky twice.
I still do not regret announcing early for the exact reasons I mentioned. If no one knew I was pregnant, I would not have received so much support. I am lucky enough to have amazing people in my life who have been coming over since my miscarriage to help with my son, house cleaning, and cooking.
